Someone Please Stop Lance
by Titans R Us
Summary: "Should I be closing my eyes? I feel like this is something I should be closing my eyes to." Pidge says.


Coran comes in rubbing his hands together and says the words each paladin has learned to dread, "Alright guys, we have a wonderful opportunity for you!"

Everyone groans. Yes. Even Shiro. He does it just under his breath. That sentence means a training exercise. "This training exercise will—"

"Coran, give us a break." Lance drawls with his hands behind his head. "Haven't we proved that we've had enough training? I mean, look at this muscle!"

"What muscle? Or are you referring to that pudge you're currently showing?"

"That's not pudge! Those are abs in the making!" He covers his stomach defensively and glares at Keith. "And stop hissing over there!"

Snickers continue to flow, even with the hand pressed to Keith's mouth, " _Abs in the making…"_ He wheezes.

"Well, not everyone is a training nut like you _Keith_."

"But you still need some more gym time, Lance." Pidge plugs in. They hold out a fist for Keith to bump. In which he does, _good_. Pidge and Hunk's get-Keith-to-socialize-like-a-human-being agenda is making progress.

"Anyway, besides Lance's lack of a workout routine." Shiro states over Lance's offended grumble, "What do you have planned Coran? Another team building activity?"

"…Not exactly. It's true the bond you have, as a team, has gotten much better. You form Voltron almost as easily as you breathe." The paladins beam at another, " **But** there are other bonds that need to be strengthened. Such as those with your Lions."

" _What?_ Blue and I are tight!" Lance points to himself, "There's a reason why Blue and I were the _first_ to connect!"

"Sheer dumb luck?"

 _"Silence, Pidge."_

"So you say, but with our flight drills…"

"You mean flight drills of **death**." Hunk mutters.

" _Ahem_ , in our flight drills, only Shiro was able to see through his Lion's eyes successfully." Coran grinds out.

"Well suuuure, but Shiro is perfect. That doesn't count."

Coran slaps a glove over Lance's face. " _Let me finish._ Allura and I have strived to provide a rare opportunity to deepen your connection. Where with magic and the extra energy provided by our ship's new crystal, the Lions may take _their original forms_ for a short time."

"Wait in the what now?" Hunk says, "What do you mean _original forms_?"

"What? Did you think the Lions were always made of metal?

"Well, yeah. They form a giant robot after all." Keith says matter of fact.

"Really, you think that we could just program the instincts and free will of such a majestic beast into a machine?" Coran spews indignantly.

"Coran. Please, it's not too much of a stretch." Shiro pacifies, "Altean technology is incredibly advanced to us."

"It is," Coran breathes in through his nose, "but the Voltron Lions are extremely unique. They have souls. They chose to volunteer their very beings to the project of Voltron even though they were some of the last Altean Lions. "

"Altean Lions? Like actual real lions? Did they live with the Alteans? Were they truly different colors?" Once Pidge starts, it's hard to make them stop.

Finger by finger, Coran lists, "Yes, yes, they lived side by side with us as our intelligent equals until birth epidemics culled their population." Then shaking off the morose expression, he grins, "As for the last question, why don't you see for yourself?"

* * *

So Lance had _totally_ paid attention when Allura and Coran gave the explanation on how this works. Something about astral projections? Temporary body constructs, blah, blah, blah…

Okay, _maybe_ he had paid more attention to how Allura's lips moved than the words that came out of them, but it's mostly all mumbo jumbo to Lance anyway!

Most things in space are… _give him a break._

Or it could be just science and magic in general. That's why he leaves the smarty-smart stuff to Pidge and Hunk so he can be the **brawn** …fine, fine not the brawn but he's got freaking miles on _common sense_.

Fake it until you make it right?

So he stands with the others as Allura does her neat glowing trick. Tries not to flinch at the flashing lights coming from their Lions lined all pretty in a row outside since, _ya know_ , there's nowhere in the castle for them to all fit in the same room. Lance wonders, do the Lions ever get lonely in their hangers? I mean _Lance would_ if every time they did a mission the paladins would have to stay in their rooms until the next one…

But none of his thoughts matter once Lance sees _her_.

 **She's gorgeous.**

A rocking body that probably comes up to his sternum. She has the prettiest _dang_ eyes that stare back into his and wow Lance is just _floored_ that this beauty would even give him the time of day.

 _Lance is in love._

So is the Blue Lion.

Which is why she _tackles_ her paladin once the smoke clears. Rubbing her furry blue head against Lance's over and over, happy to finally touch her paladin, her partner, her friend. Reducing Lance to babbling renditions of, " _Baby_ , oh my sweet, sweet _baby_ , you're so _pretty_ , I mean you're all pretty, but you Blue? _You're the prettiest._ I can't believe you chose me, why would you ever choose me? Blue look at you! _That's right, who's the best lion?_ It's you. **It's so you."**

"Well," Shiro coughs into his fist, "It doesn't look like those two need help getting reacquainted." The rest of the paladins and lions tear their eyes off of the _touching_ scene to look at him.

"Perhaps the Blue Paladin was right," Coran stokes his mustache in thought. "He and the Blue Lion appear to be very _close_. In fact, it doesn't look like their bond needs to deepen… _at all_."

"Then again, it is said that the Blue Lion is truly the _friendliest_ of the them all…" Allura trails off.

"Should I be closing my eyes? I feel like this is something I should be closing my eyes to." Pidge says noting that _yes_ their lions are the same colors as their namesakes.

"Just focus on your own lion, Pidge." Hunk ruffles Pidge's hair and holds out a palm to Yellow Lion. "Or else she'll get jealous. At least I think they're all girls. I don't see any manes on you." He frowns in thought until Yellow nudges his hand. "Lance is sorta right though. You're really pretty…and soft."

"But **big**. I think they're much larger than earth lions." Pidge gulps as the Green Lion approaches her. The beast's height might be barely taller than her own! Nervous, Pidge goes still as the lion circles around her curiously. The huge body twisting to smell her backpack and then look to Pidge for answers.

"What's in there?" Pidge guesses and their link pulses in her mind. Seems like she's on the right track. "Just one of my smaller projects, I'm experimenting if we can use one of the Galra crystal fragments without it corrupting the system it's plugged into."

The Green Lion puffs in her face and Pidge starts to get excited. "But the real stuff is in the lab. Or I guess it's really your hanger, but would you like to see my, no our projects more in detail?"

She senses an enthusiastic consent and translating Green Lion's questions becomes easier the further they pace away.

Keith takes in the scene. Blue and Lance are becoming fused to the hip. Yellow has a new mission and jumps to push Hunk to a better height to groom him. Black Lion strides calmly to stand next to Shiro companionably.

But the Red Lion? Doesn't even look at him. She even seems to be actively ignoring him.

"Hey, buddy?" Keith tries. "How are you doing?"

Red doesn't respond. Just walks past Keith and slumps to her belly.

" _Ha_ , Keith's lion doesn't like him!" Lance jeers from the ground, one arm over his lion's neck.

Keith scowls trying not to take it seriously, Lance is always running his mouth, but he can't stop the twinge in his chest.

The Blue Lion of _Friendship_ doesn't appreciate such an _unfriendly_ comment. She stands up and wiggles out of Lance's grasp.

"Wait, Baby I'm sorry. Please don't go." The Blue Lion is halfway to Keith now. "I didn't mean it. I'm just insecure. Blue, Baby _come back to me!_ "

"That's what you get for being a twat, Lance." Hunk says cheerfully at Lance's bemoaning form. "Now if you want her back, go apologize."

"But I did!" He gestures to the traitor who brushes against Keith affectionately and then settles next to Red Lion. They hum and puff as if they're talking to another. They probably are.

"To Blue, sure. But is that _really_ the person to apologize to?" Hunk pokes him and the Yellow Lion takes that as encouragement to increase her territory. Two heads to lick are better than one.

"Ugh, fine. _FINE_. Hunk, make her stop licking me. I have enough cow licks as it is!" His escape is stopped by a paw that presses him more firmly to the ground. "Let me up!"

Hunk taps his lion's nose to get her attention and then points to his own hair. "Are you sure you're finished?"

The Yellow Lion is torn. The skinny one does severely need to be groomed, but her priorities should lie with her own human. Her head moves towards Hunk, giving Lance enough of an opening to slip away. Yellow jerks back to her lost prize scurrying across the room and growls unhappily. She grooms Hunk a little more enthusiastically in response to his trick.

Luckily Hunk doesn't mind too much. A hot shower is on the schedule anyway.

"Sorry dude, that was uncalled for." Lance delivers not looking Keith in the eye. "You've earned your lion just as much as the rest of us."

"No problem, besides you're probably right." Keith smiles wryly "She hates me."

"Nah, she's just like you. Antisocial and moody." Blue butts Lance's hip hard.

"I'm trying, I'm trying! Look Keith." Lance attempts to be serious, "Think about how you connected with her in the first place. Why don't you take Red to the training deck?"

"What? Why?" Keith asks and the Red Lion gets to her feet.

"You're a show-off, she's a show-off." Keith and Red turn to glare at Lance in union. "Maybe if you go and show-off to her, you'll impress her enough to spark the bond between you."

"I don't know." Keith tilts his head to Red. She moves to the door and flicks her tail impatiently. "But I guess it's worth a try."

They leave to the sound of Lance's anguished screams as Blue works to finish the job Yellow started. Blue's pride is at stake here; her paladin must be the best groomed in the castle. He must be. The mission fills Blue with _determination._

* * *

"Training bot, level 5!" Keith orders sweat running down his brow. There's salt on his lips and a staccato of hot blood rushing in his veins. It's been almost an hour now, and his lion is still not impressed.

In fact, she looks bored.

Head resting on her paws, eyes closed. Keith might suspect that Red's sleeping but whenever he goes about five to seven feet from the animal, it cracks open her eyes and growls.

Frustration builds in the throat and Keith wants to scream. Of course, this was a stupid idea. _It came from Lance of all people!_ Keith doesn't know what he was thinking, listening to that guy. It just felt so _good_ that Lance actually apologized for once. So of course it made his head all…stupid and fuzzy.

A slash comes too close, and Keith can feel the air displaced by the blade. It's time to focus. Forget Red. Forget being rejected. Forget not being _good_ enough… _again_. His teeth grind together as he forces the bot back enough to strike below its guard. Electronically, it deteriorates away immediately.

It's not enough.

 _"Again, level 6!"_ The drone comes quicker than before and Keith grins. Maybe this will help him forget. There is a rhythm of hit, parry, strike, block. _Hit, parry, strike, block._ He gets lost in the movement as the pattern gets faster and faster.

A crash, the electronic buzz and then a hoarse voice, _"Level 7!"_ The grip starts to slip on the bayard. Keith doesn't care.

But he does when the drone knocks his weapon from hand.

 _Suck._

The fancy move sends the sword skidding across the training floor. Keith runs into a _slide_ towards it. Can he get it before the bot attacks?

The answer is…no _._

The drone punts the weapon away from Keith's fingers, _that were right there dang it_ , and holds up their weapon ready to nail Keith on the head.

Oh, this is gonna to smart. The blow won't kill him. Coran ruthlessly rewired and tested the blasted program before letting Keith take one step onto the training deck. But _wow_ , the thing can give the loveliest bruises Keith has ever seen…

Keith squeezes his eyes reflexively and hears a furious roar. What?

A metallic crunch has him cracking his eye to see…Red? Red's fur fills his vision as the beast couches over the paladin, gnawing on the drone's arm. If she has a goal to rip off the bot's limb…Red's succeeding.

 _Red is pissed._ Keith can tell from the bond cracking a little more open between them. Pissed, but happy? Red growls around her mouthful, paws holding the drone in place while clawing grooves that screech. With the mass of her body, she bumps his shoulder towards his fallen bayard and Keith understands.

He finally gets it.

Keith can push himself as much as he wants. He can give it his all, but at the end of the day _he's Red's paladin._ Red doesn't let her paladins fight alone. Besides in a hunt? A team ambush is much more satisfying.

He snatches up the bayard and takes down that sucker. Stabbing it from the side, Red purrs when the machine collapses.

"So…" Keith self-consciously bursts, "Do you want to take on level 8?"

Through their mental connection, Red sends image after image of the two happily destroying machinery together. Keith can't help but break into a smile, "Well, kitty. Let's make that a reality."

And they do. _Coran is gonna be mad for days._

* * *

There's no shred of doubt Black Lion is the leader of the five.

The impression persists as the Lioness walks proudly beside Shiro as they slowly collect their paladins and pride members one by one. Her dark fur glistens under the florescent lights. Each step is confident and the way the bond hums between them is sure. Their time in these forms is running out. A soft rumble to Blue and Yellow has them comply with instructions to return outside.

They even relayed the message to Keith and Red in the hallway. Or really the memo was for Red smugly dragging along her barely conscious paladin. His feet trail behind them awkwardly, but her teeth press firm in Keith's jacket as if she's holding a cub's ruff. When Shiro offers to take him all he gets a defensive snarl.

"So…I'm going to take that as a _no_." He remarks amused as they watch Red pull Keith down the hall. "Meet you outside."

"All that's left is Pidge, huh?" He says rubbing the cold metal plate of his arm.

The ridges are small, creating patterns for the joints, but if he pressed hard enough he could draw blood. A memory flashes of red under his nails, scratching, pulling at the thing. _It's wrong. Unnatural. It needs to come off. Get it off._ _ **Get it off me!**_ Bile fills his throat as the static panic punches him from memory lane.

Shiro violently shakes his head. It's just a memory. It doesn't matter. This is not the time. A warmth presses against his side. A tentative question fills his mind and Shiro looks down straight into Black's eyes.

"It's nothing. Just my inadequacies acting up." He shrugs nonchalantly, "Come on, Pidge's lab is just this way."

But Black Lion just presses harder at his ribs forcing him to take a step to the side.

"What are you doing?" Black snorts and corrals her paladin against the wall. He's not going anywhere. She repeats her question, this time it feels more like an order than a request.

"I'm fine. Really." Black waits patiently, "It's just. You know, this arm is really _useful_. The technology is incredible, it moves well and thanks to it we can even hack Galra's systems."

He pauses.

"I should be grateful. That it's not a stub. That at least there's something there." Black hums encouragingly, "But. _I-I hate it, Black._ " The sentence ends in a whisper.

Shiro swallows and closes his eyes.

"Every time I see it, I feel like I'm still their thing. Their experiment. Their…champion."

Black growls deep in her throat, her human needs to focus on her. Focus on the _now_. She pushes her head underneath the prosthetic and gives a new command. Obeying Shiro begins to pet between her ears. The motion is rather soothing.

"Without this…arm, we wouldn't have our advantage we _need_ over the Galra. But I can't…I'd give it up in a second just to get the real thing back. Isn't that just _pathetic of me_?" Shiro spits out.

Black shows her disagreement. Depicts scenes to Shiro of a licking a wound, watching it heal, seeing it scar. It's a slow process, but Shiro's knees weaken with the waves of admiration and pride emitting from the lion.

But Black has no problem supporting his weight. It's kind of nice. To be comforted like this. To be weak once in a while… _and for it to be okay._

"I-I don't remember much of my time with them. It's mostly a blur. But I do remember being alone, angry and…scared in the dark. Space was an empty, lifeless end to me then…"

He opens his eyes, countenance a little brighter. "It's funny, but it doesn't feel like that anymore. Not when I'm with you and our team…no… _our family_."

Purring, Black twists up to press their forehead against his. She puffs in approval and a laugh escapes from the paladin.

"Thanks for being there for me." He pushes lightly and reluctantly Black allows Shiro to move from the wall. If it were up to her, she would make him stay there until her paladin lost the smell of burnt metal and pain. But time is short.

Shiro gives her skull one last rub, "Now let's get the rest of our pride."

When Pidge's Hanger swishes opens, Shiro and Black let out an unprofessional coo.

Oh. That's freaking adorable.

Pidge sprawls half reclined on Green Lion's back. _Absolutely passed out._ Her glasses barely hanging off the tip of their nose. She must have been working before dozing off because a computer hums in her lap.

It's a shame to wake her, _it's so rare for her to sleep in plain sight,_ but Shiro crouches down besides the pair. "Pidge, it's time to get up," He shakes her shoulder gently.

"Hmmmm?" Pidge's forehead creases, but the Paladin doesn't fully stir.

The Green curled around Pidge whines. Do they have any idea how long it took to get her human to rest? It took several maneuvers to put her paladin in a state of warm drowsiness! Out of all the lions, Green has had the chance to observe her paladin the most. How brilliant the cub is and yet how they tend to run themselves _into the ground._

Green Lion is not pleased, her tail flashes back and forth.

Shiro tries again, " Pidge, _Katie_ it's time for the lions to go. I-Green, she has to wake up….please stop looking at me like that." Green Lion bats his knee and sulks.

"What's going on?" Pidge stretches the last word in a yawn. They straighten their glasses and gaze blurrily at Shiro.

Shiro smiles and extends their hand for Pidge to take. " The Lions need to let go of their astral forms. I would let you sleep, but I think you'd rather be there when they do."

The Green Lion grumbles even with Black coming to nudge her from her position. At least she's gained the data she needs to replicate her results. Next time in the cockpit, Green will adjust the temperature and purr accordingly. In addition, Green can guard her pilot without these _nuisances_. It will have to be an acceptable alternative.

"Oh. Thanks for getting me." She lets Shiro helps them up, but she overcompensates falling into…wow, Shiro's chest is solid. What is he? A rock? It's not the best pillow to be sure, but it's still really really…okay, Pidge don't go there. "Sorry." She mumbles, "Naps make me groggy."

"Its okay, "Shiro says bemused and motions for the door, "Well, any ideas to stop Lance from melting into a puddle with Blue?"

Pidge grins, "I'm sure I can think of something."

* * *

"What happened to you? You look like you were mauled by a can opener."

"Do you really want to start with physical appearances, _helmet head?_ " Keith gestures to Lance's head, absolutely soaked, but not a hair out of place.

Blue's end result is better than imagined. She is the supreme groomer. Yellow Lion must be _rolling_ with utter jealousy with the rebellious strand that still pokes from Hunk's head.

Yellow is not. She's rolling because her paladin gives the best scratches. She will keep this human until the day she's destroyed.

"Blue, honey I want you to know I will always love you." Blue purrs in agreement. "Even if I can't pet your luscious fur anymore and can only go inside of your ginormous metal body _, I will always love you_."

"Lance." Shiro warns. "You're making the team uncomfortable again."

"I don't care, Shiro. Let me properly say _goodbye_!"

"Lance, she's not going anywhere. She just needs to let go of that astral projection."

"But I'll never get to _hold_ her in my arms again, Shiro. How can you be so heartless?" Lance dramatically sobs, part joking…but he is going to miss this. He hugs her neck tighter.

"Lance, let go of the lion… **now**."

 _"No."_

Blue comforts Lance with scenes of them flying together while Pidge and Hunk pry his fingers one by one off her body. They're enjoying this too much, the **sadists**. Pidge, _the dirty cheat_ , jabs him in the stomach and Hunk grabs him under the arms.

"Come on guys! Is this really necessary?"

"Yes." Says Hunk and Pidge in unison.

Blue trots back to the others, already lined up in a row but sends Lance one last image. It's of them in a giant pile in the common room followed by the feeling of anticipation.

"Hey, Coran." Lance relaxes with a smirk.

"What?" Coran says absentmindedly, watching the lions blaze as Princess Allura releases their projections to return to gear and metal.

 _"When can we do this training exercise again?"_

* * *

 **Notes:** So I saw a few pictures on Tumblr of the Voltron Lions portrayed as real lions with their paladins and ran with the idea. This is probably my longest oneshot so far and it took several times to get the what I wanted out of it right. But LANCE saves the day! He tends to be the loudest and easiest voice to write and I truly enjoy how hilarious he turns out to be. Thanks for reading and if you could leave a comment that would be great!


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